Twenty+ Ways Self-Sabotage Shows Up…AND How to Overcome it! + A Self-Sabotage Quiz


I’M MY OWN WORST ENEMY. I CAN’T GET OUT OF MY OWN WAY.
Have you experienced this? Or heard these words from someone you know?
Self sabotage is ubiquitous and damaging to many areas of our lives. At some point, all of us have experienced it.
Almost 100% of the women I work with in my rapid transformation coaching business suffer from some form of self-sabotage.
It comes in many forms and can impact various areas of our lives. Work. School. Sports. Relationships. Health.
What causes these behaviors?
Self sabotage is often driven by negative self talk AKA the inner critic. After years of conditioning, your brain is used to thinking certain thoughts, feeling the same emotions, and you’ve created an IDENTITY around who you are.
Your subconscious mind just accepts that “this is the way it is” and keeps cycling through the same suffering loops.
That is why the transformation and embodiment work is SO important to break and disrupt these patterns for GOOD.
When you can liberate and release these old ways of thinking, acting, and being…you experience FREEDOM to move forward CONFIDENTLY toward your most aligned, authentic path.
Since this topic so prevalent, I wanted to share these twenty ways self-sabotage shows up…and how to overcome it!
As you go through the list, write down LOW, MED, or HIGH if the bullet point is a challenge for you. If it’s not a challenge at all, leave it blank. 
On a scale from 1 to 10 – Low would be 1-3, Medium would be a 4-7 and High would be 7-10. 

Self-Care:

  • Your approach to pleasure is a denial/binge cycle. You deny yourself simple pleasures and relaxation, and then stay up watching Netflix until 3 a.m.
  • You ignore your body’s signs that you need a break or feel guilty resting.
  • You wait UNTIL….holding back from doing the things you want due to self-imposed limitations For example, you think “I can’t go to the beach and wear a bikini until I’ve lost weight.”
  • You find yourself caught in vicious cycles – going on diets/cleanses one week, then gorging on unhealthy food the next.

Procrastination: 

  • You think in terms of black-and-white. For example, you think, “If I don’t have time to vacuum the whole house, I won’t do any housework.”
  • You overcomplicate solutions to problems. You are a researcher, but when it comes time to take action, you go back to where it’s safe…in your comfort zone.
  • You stay stuck in patterns that are “comfortable”, but not working for you. Ex: Overworking is more comfortable and familiar than having more balance.
  • You allow yourself to ruminate or worry without expecting yourself to take appropriate problem-solving actions. For example, you worry about the security of your online accounts, but do nothing to lower your risk.

Relationships:

  • You throw stones from your glass house. You complain about other people’s behavior when you need to make the same change yourself.
  • You repeat strategies for trying to influence others that aren’t effective. For example, you repeatedly nag your spouse when it hardly ever works.
  • You operate based on how you think a situation should be rather than dealing with reality. For example, you think your spouse should be able to remember to do a particular task, so you don’t write instructions, when writing instructions and putting them in view would solve the problem.
  • You have emotional triggers that result in out-of-proportion reactions. You don’t have effective methods for managing your emotions and behavior when your childhood hurts and traumas are reactivated. You may even turn to alcohol, drugs, keeping busy, or overworking because you don’t want to FEEL.

Work:

  • You self-generate stress. For example, you start more projects than you have time to finish. You’re always looking for the ‘next thing’ or quick-fix for a problem.
  • You work on low priority tasks, but leave high priority tasks undone.
  • You talk yourself out of doing things even before you get started, seeing the worst case scenario and not trusting.
  • You overwork and get overwhelmed when what you really need to do is to step back and see the big picture.
  • You’re highly self-critical when self-acceptance and compassion would have a more positive impact on your behavior and emotions.

Money:

  • You hold back from investing or otherwise taking charge of your money, because of shame, guilt, or fear about a bad decision or experience from years ago.
  • You are indecisive and overthink when it comes to making an investment in something that you KNOW deep down, will help you move the needle.
  • You live from a lack/scarcity mindset, even though you have plenty of money.
  • You keep paying for subscriptions you rarely use.

Here are next steps to overcome this:

#1. For any of the above that you scored HIGH on, consider addressing. If many of them are listed, intuitively select the one that is having the biggest negative impact on you.

#2. Select that pattern and actively choose to shift it. Ex: If you find yourself complaining or judging yourself or others, every time a thought comes up, choose to see it differently. If you’re judging your aunt who always comes to the house empty-handed, how can you shift your perspective to offer more compassion. Is that judgment a mirror to your own shadow behavior?

#3. Aim to slowly and gradually improve in this area vs being PERFECT (another self-sabotaging cycle). If you improve by 10%, it’s a win!

Struggling with self sabotage or know someone who is? I’d love to help.

Here are some additional resources for you:

I have many free and paid resources to help you with this.

#1. Check out this YouTube video I created on Breaking the Vicious Cycle of Self-sabotage. Be sure to Subscribe to my channel to be the first to be notified when I post free trainings

#2. I also offer many courses, books, and programs to help you overcome self-sabotage so you can elevate your reality!
Here are some options for you.
An affordable monthly membership where you’ll get brand new trainings, meditations, workbooks, and affirmations to seal in the work to help you RELEASE blocks holding you back so you can ELEVATE your reality. We dive deep into self-sabotage, which shows up as ‘blocks’ like procrastination, overthinking, and scarcity. You’ll also get plugged into a high-vibe, members-only community where I go Live for Q+A once a month!
This is an intentional call where we’ll open up the space to view what is looking to be released, shed, and purged from your reality along with what your soul is being called to experience, create, birth, and move into.

We’ll feel into how The Sacred Illumination Method may serve you in your next phase of evolution.

About Dr. Christina: 

Dr. Christina Fontana is a rapid transformation coach, hypnotherapist, pharmacist, and 4-time author. One of Dr. Christina’s gifts is her laser sharp intuition; she can quickly tune into what is blocking someone, identify it, and help them release it.

She blends hypnotherapy, quantum physics, spirituality, and intuitive coaching to help visionary women release blocks keeping them stuck so they can own their brilliance out in the world and amplify their income and impact.

For the last 9 years, Dr. Christina has been providing uplifting, transformational content through her YouTube videos, articles, books, and retreats to help women wake up to more of who they really are so they can experience more freedom, joy, and fulfillment.

Feel free to connect with Dr. Christina on her website or on her pharmacist Facebook page, Scale Your Side Hustle!

www.bitly.com/scaleyoursidehustlegroup

References:

  1. Fagan, Abagail. 30 types of self-sabotage and what to do about it. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201805/30-types-self-sabotage-and-what-do-about-it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *