Codependent or Caring?
One of the biggest blocks I see in the pharmacists I work with is people pleasing. Since almost ALL of them are empaths and are extremely caring, boundaries become blurred when it comes to client and personal interactions.
Often codependency and people pleasing show up together, creating energy drains like over-giving, feeling overly responsible for clients, hand-holding, and rescuing behaviors.
By the way, this isn’t a shame and blame email, it’s meant to lovingly bring awareness to what may be holding you back and keeping you stuck. You know I love you, Queen.
So how do you know you’re operating in codependent/people pleasing patterns?
Here are some key indicators:
#1. Low self-esteem –
✨You often compare yourself to others and feel worse as a result.
✨You may try to ‘rescue’ people who are hurt or suffering in some way to feel worthy.
#2. Poor Boundaries –
✨You often feel responsible to ‘fix’ what’s wrong in someone’s life. This can include giving unsolicited advice. If you can’t fix it, you may feel helpless or unworthy.
✨You also feel responsible for managing other people’s emotions and opinions of you
✨You may also say ‘Yes’ when you want to say ‘No’ OR simply avoid having a conversation all together. You may feel that you need to over-explain yourself and your desires or boundaries to avoid people being angry with you.
#3. Dysfunctional communication –
✨Rather than saying “I don’t like that” or “I politely decline”, you act like everything is fine and go silent to avoid conflict at all costs.
✨You may use behaviors like sarcasm or keeping quiet to deflect your deeper, true feelings
#4. Dependency –
✨You know and identify with being a people pleaser and often give your power away to appease others, while putting your needs last
✨You see the approval of others before making decisions for yourself. You may not trust yourself and your own inner knowing. Of course, there is a difference between discussing something with your spouse i.e., an investment. However, if you feel you don’t have a say at all (suppressing your desires) and you’re giving your power away, that is a different scenario.
#5. Fear of rejection/abandonment –
✨You fear judgment, rejection, or criticism in any relationship
✨You also fear that if you let yourself be intimately known as your true self, someone will reject you and confirm your unconscious identity of not being good enough/worthy enough. In other words, you’re terrified to show your emotions an the real you for fear of abandonment and rejection.
This people pleasing pattern alone can be extremely draining, debilitating, and costly for a solopreneur.
When you’re operating from people pleasing, you may…
✨Avoid conversations and follow up with potential clients for fear of rejection. You also avoid saying ‘No’ and speaking your truth because you don’t want the other person to be mad or disappointed in you.
✨Under-charge or beta-test your programs and services because you’re afraid no one will pay at the higher rate OR feel guilty and don’t want to be perceived as greedy and feel judged for your prices.
✨Over-deliver because you feel you need to prove yourself or you feel guilty for charging for your services.
✨Play it safe with your social media posting, because you don’t want anyone to get mad at you or say anything negative.
With love, Queen – these patterns aren’t workable for scaling a profitable business. In fact, this pattern is what is keeping you stuck in lower income levels.
And I want to help you with this…
This is part of why I’ve created my Signature Program The Elevate Entrepreneur Academy to help you accelerate the path to full time entrepreneurship.
When you have these blocks and blindspots that you can’t see for yourself, you can be doing all of the action, but still not seeing results.
My Facebook Live this coming week on Releasing Subconscious Blocks will be exploring the topic of people pleasing and how it plays out in your business. Spoiler alert: ‘Overcoming People Pleasing’ also our topic for Elevate Entrepreneur Academy in November.
If you already know you want to clear these blocks, own your brilliance, and scale your profitable business…and you’re READY to sign up for Elevate Entrepreneur Academy, you can learn more and sign up here.
You’ve got this, Queen. I’m here WITH you. <3
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