The Sneaky Payoff of Self-Sabotage

👸🏻✨👑Why Do We Self-Sabotage?

This is a question I hear often in my transformation/business coaching practice.
Why would we subconsciously sabotage our efforts?
Because there’s a hidden PAYOFF.
If you procrastinate, avoid, delay – you don’t have to feel uncomfortable making a choice to change. You don’t have to actually face the fear of the unknown and you stay safe and small in your old world.
If you say ‘No’ to an opportunity you know can help you (even if it’s scary), the payoff is you confirming your subconscious IDENTITY. That you can’t do it, you’re not deserving of it, etc.
If you stay in unhealthy health/eating patterns, you keep yourself small and don’t have to be seen. It’s a subconscious form of hiding.
And here’s the loving, hard truth…
If you hold onto the stories, thoughts, beliefs, and identity – you stay in victim-mode. AKA – “I can’t because _____________(some outside circumstance/person/past experience.)
I get it – because I was a victim for the first 25 years of my life.
I blamed my father for many things, including my eating disorder, the unavailable men I attracted, the unworthiness I felt as a human being.
The payoff was that I got to be helpless and my life was UNWORKABLE. This confirmed my identity as a victim. Nothing worked, but at least I got to blame someone for it.
But it cost ME, not him and not anyone else.
Because the fact is, self-sabotage costs you in many ways…
  • Time and energy spent playing small vs. pursuing your dream
  • A healthy and loving relationship with yourself
  • Your health, energy, vitality, and happiness
  • A significant amount of income and impact in your business and life purpose
YOU CAN CHANGE your programming. BUT…you have to choose this path.
Most people won’t choose to change until they’re in immense emotional pain or discomfort.
You may wait ‘until’…
  • Until you have the money.
  • Until you feel ‘ready.’
  • Until some future time when things aren’t as ‘busy’ or chaotic.
I’ve heard it all. And…it’s another form of delaying and self-sabotage…
You aren’t a victim. You can choose – #1 – continue the “payoff” cycle or
#2 – DECIDE on your transformation. I’d pick #2 any day of the week!
Here is a quick video to help you right now to give yourself grace and start shifting out of self-sabotage.
You’ve got this, Queen!
With love,
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